Penguins

From the email inbox:
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!!!!!  It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.  The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”

You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It’s so easy to fool OLD people.

I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!!
Oh, quit whining, ( I fell for it, too)

Words That Should Be Words

Words that Really Ought to Exist

Abracadabbler: an amateur magician.

Carbage: the trash found in your automobile.

Faddict: someone who has to try every new trend that comes along.

Hackchoo: when you sneeze and cough at the same time.

Iceburg: an uppity, snobbish neighborhood.

Jobsolete: a position within a company that no longer exists.

Mandals: sandals for men.

Nagivator: someone who constantly assists with driving directions in

an overly critical manner.

Qcumbersome: a salad that contains too many cucumbers.

Sanktuary: a graveyard for ships.

Testimoney: fees paid to expert witnesses.

Unbrella: an umbrella that the wind has turned inside-out.

Xerocks: two identical pieces of sYawnese: the language of someone trying to speak while yawning.

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The above was found in the email inbox…