Just A Typical Guy

A husband went to police station to report his missing wife:
Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.
Sergeant : What is her height ?
Husband : Oh, 5 something . . .
Sergeant : Build?
Husband : Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant : Color of eyes?
Husband : Hard to say, dark.
Sergeant : Color of hair?
Husband : Changes according to season.
Sergeant : What was she wearing?
Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans — I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant : Did she go in a car?
Husband : yes.
Sergeant : What kind of car was it?
Husband : 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package,
shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with direct
injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission,
and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left
door. At this point the husband started crying.
Sergeant : Don’t worry sir. We’ll find your car.
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From the email archive.

An Englishman In France

 

NOWTHISI (1)

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.
The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he is going to be arrested.

The Englishman answers with humour: “No sir, I do not! But while we’re asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving… on the other side !!

 

Equality

Is there equality before the law? At every stage of the judicial
process–facing the policeman, appearing in court, being freed
on bond, being sentenced by the judge–the poor person is
treated worse than the rich, the black treated worse than the
white, the politically or personally odd character is treated
worse than the orthodox.

– Howard Zinn

Wisdom Quotes