Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I found this out a long time ago…
Like the tattoos.
Love this photo.
Perfect example of why men can’t understand women.
I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls, with a significant overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”
One of them screeched, “It’s WALES, you bloody idiot!”
So I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?”
And… that’s when the fight started…
When commercial telephone service was introduced between New York and London in 1927, the first three minutes of a call cost $75.00.
One-fourth of the people who lose their sense of smell also lose their desire for sexual relations.
High reeders, i DiscoveRed this fantastik thing called spel chek. As i tipe; It correcs the misspelld wurd and oughto correks it. It truelee amasez me wat this spelt checcer dos. I reccamand every1 tooo yuse it. yoUll will bee happee as jak frost on a rottid punkim. tRusT mee.
1. You post it.
2. I read it.
1. I type.
2. I post.
The bubbles in Guinness beer sink to the bottom – no one knows why.
Canadians eat more Kraft macaroni and cheese packaged dinners than any nationality in the world.
It’s not that often we see a truly devoted couple they are.
White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith (formerly of the Monkees).
Can anyone explain this?
Women are 37% more likely to go to a psychiatrist than men are.
Canada is an Indian word meaning “Big Village”.
315 entries in Webster’s Dictionary will be misspelled.
The news now a days, has really gone off the cliff.
Having this type of alarm clock would be really annoying.
Barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
Scroll to see them all…
Must be an inexpensive one…
Eagles are a beautiful bird.
If people walk in the woods for the love of them half of each day, they are in danger of being regarded as loafers; but if they spend their whole days as speculators, shearing off those woods and making earth bald before her time, they are esteemed industrious and enterprising citizens. As if a town had no interest in forests but to cut them down!
-Henry David Thoreau
Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards.
A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person.
Since 1495, no 25-year period has been without war.
An onion, apple and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell.
Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine, suggested that a woman could enlarge her bust line by singing loudly and often.
Amazing, isn’t it, how some people see the basket half empty and others see it half full? Some see life hopeless, others hopeful. Even when things are less than perfect, if you can think of the good, the beautiful, the hopeful, you’ll be more than sustained–you’ll conquer.
It takes about seven minutes for the average person to fall asleep.