Henry Ford Quote

“Coming together is the beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.”

-Henry Ford

Quote

“Everything should be as
simple as it is, but not
simpler.”

-Albert Einstein

Quote

“Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Dalai Lama

Irish Blond

Irish blond

An attractive blond from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. “Yes! Yes! I won, I won!” She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ….. but all
men…are men!

I Read On …..

I read on
boston.com
the snow
that is still
on the ground
with the exception
of the real
tall mounds of
it, should be
melted and gone
between March 25
and April 3.

Then dear
Agnes, it
will all be
just a memory.

Anxiety

Nothing in the affairs
of humanity is worthy
of great anxiety.

Plato

Just A Thought

With all
the snow
in the
past three
weeks, which
was a
good amount,
there is
one way
and the
best way
of looking
at it,
Laugh!

No sense
in getting
all bent
out of
shape, as
it won’t
do you
any good.

Besides, its
Winter!
Enjoy it,
maybe next
Winter will
be one
of those
small amounts
of snow.

Think

One must be sane to think
clearly, but one can think
deeply and be quite insane.

Nikola Tesla

Student Who Obtained A Zero On An Exam

From the email inbox:

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0%  ON AN EXAM
Q 1.. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q 2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q 3.. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q 4.. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q 5.. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q 6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q 7.. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q 8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
* Wet
Q 9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q 10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has one hand.
Q 11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and
three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
* Very large hands
Q 12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,
how long would it take four men to build it?
*No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q 13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Hard Work

“I don’t believe people die from hard work. They die from stress and worry and fear — the negative emotions. Those are the killers, not hard work. The fact is, in our society today, most people don’t understand what hard work is all about.”

– Arthur Williams

Music & Art

“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.”

– Woody Allen

A Lot Of Snow

In the current 30 day period, the Boston area has so far, more than 61.6 inches of snow, which beats the previous record 58.5 inches back in 1978. And the snow is still coming down.
More in The Boston Globe.

Quote

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?

Samuel Goldwyn

George Carlin Quote

I do this real moron
thing, it’s called
thinking, and I’m not a
very good American
because I like to form
my own opinion.

George Carlin

Fifteen Things That It Took Me Over 40 Years To Learn by Dave Barry

From the email in box.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings,”

3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness,”

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6.Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.