I sometimes wonder if this stuff is true, or partially true…. You decide.
The Darwins are out!!!!
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us .
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family….unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember…. They walk among us!!!***
A Pondering Mind 
67 responses to “The Darwins Are Out”
1-9 *giggle*
10 EeeuuuugggghhhhhhH! …. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Get a hold of yourself…………
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Sorry
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Don’t take it seriously, as I was only having some fun with you…
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oops my bad
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😆
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[…] The Darwins Are Out. […]
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These are wonderful. 🙂
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Thank you for the like and the comment….
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You can’t make this stuff up.
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Probably not….
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so dammmm funny. I could eat this with a spork. 🙂
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Glad you liked it, and thank you for the comment…
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#6–he is as stupid as a local guy that handed a teller a robbery note written on his personal deposit slip and the cops were waiting for him at his home…..
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There are some really dumb criminals, that roam this planet…
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And Don they seem to be multiplying faster than those with brains……I fear for humanity….
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You’re right. The future doesn’t look good….
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That was great. 🙂
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Thank you, and glad you liked it….
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Several of these are so funny I nearly passed out. You have topped my Stupid Chronicles for sure!
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Glad you got a good laugh….
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Wonderful! Really made my afternoon!
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I’m glad it did make your day….
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Not funny – but – LMAO at #4!
Gosh – I feel like a genius after reading these 🙂
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LOL
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Brilliant post….
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Thank you, mate…
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ya ya ya ya… ;-D Spanish laugh in written form…
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Its nice that you cleared that up for me….
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The mexican photograph write often this on my blog when I make a joke… (Hablo español) I speak Spanish…
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(Hablo español) I speak Spanish…I do know what that means… 🙂
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Many Americans speak Spanish, you have 2 big languages in USA… I can visit all American countries without a problem if we talk about languages, even if my English isn’t the best…… And portuguese, I speak a little…
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As you know I speak English, and can understand some Spanish…
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Muy bien, pero dormìr me importa ahora… La noche aqui a Paris… !Buenas noches! ☺
I believe it’s afternoon in Massachuetts…
Bon après-midi ! As wwe say here in France, and in Montréal…
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Yes it is. 4:30 pm…..
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OMG! hahahahaha Can’t stop laughing 😆 hahahahaha #4 LMAO hahahaha My sides hurt! hahahaha Gotta’ go pee! REBLOG!
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I hope you didn’t pee in your pants… LMAO
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I ran REAL fast! Long legs do have their advantage 😆
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I wish I was a fly on the wall… 😆
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Reblogged this on catnipoflife and commented:
What could possibly be better catnipoflife than humor?! Not just simple humor that brings on a smile but side-splitting humor that just makes you keep on laughing and laughing and laughing! Don’t stop until you have read the very last one…
Thank you, Don in Massachusetts!
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You’re welcome, Sharla 🙂
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I don’t even know what to say. I can’t chose between cringing and laughing.
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I guess both would be good… 🙂
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Reblogged this on myownheart.me and commented:
What a wonderful way to start the day 🙂
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picked you up (did you feel that?) from Sharla at catnip and so glad I did. thank you Don for a wonderful start to my day!
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Especially 10 … yik… Love it
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So funny to read about stupid people…… 🙂 🙂 🙂
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So true… 😆
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Dear Don,
I read the re-posted on Sharla Shults blog and I was howling with laughter. This was just hilarious. And you’ll find it re-posted on my blog as well. Besides: you got a new follower! 🙂
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Thank you for the nice comment, and happy that you got a good laugh from it. Also, welcome aboard… 🙂
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Reblogged this on raaniyork and commented:
Want to have a great laugh? Then please read this blog post of Don in Massachusetts. It’s hilarious!! Have fun!!
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Some real fools out there – and sometimes they are really funny. Thanks for the laugh.
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There are some real idiots that walk this planet. Glad you liked it, and thank you for the comment…
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You got it.
Makes me feel like a genius.
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I’m sure it does…
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For criminals who do these kinds of unfathomably stupid things in your Darwin posts, I can see the message from police officers and judges: “Because you are so stupid, our system will take care of you, so you don’t have to worry about what to wear, or what to eat, or where to sleep.” Problem is … that they will get released, at some point, except for the guy who looked down the barrel of his gun and pulled the trigger.
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This is what keeps the judicial going, the cops keep their jobs…
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Oh gods this made me laugh! THANK YOU!
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p.s. Just reblogged. Awesome post. 🙂
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Thank you for re-blogging it…
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Definitely my pleasure!
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🙂
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Glad you liked it.
You’re welcome….
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I can’t believe how much I’ve missed the Darwin awards.
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Thank you for the visit and the comment…
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BTW: Thanks Don-these are great stories!
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You’re welcome, and glad you liked it…
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