From the email in box.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings,”
3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness,”
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6.Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
A Pondering Mind 
19 responses to “Fifteen Things That It Took Me Over 40 Years To Learn by Dave Barry”
number two should be on my tombstone…..
LikeLike
I know what you are saying…
LikeLike
Number 13 is so important and true.
LikeLike
Amen
LikeLike
Being a native Miamian I grew up on the Sunday Miami Herald issue and headed straight for Dave Barry… Love this! Especially #1 🙂
LikeLike
He is good and witty…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dave Barry in 2016!
LikeLike
Yep
LikeLike
Number 5 is important one my grandpa use to say was never trust a f@rt after you turn 80 😱
LikeLike
LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
*smile*
LikeLike
*smile*
LikeLiked by 1 person
All absolutely true … I would not be able to say that with such conviction had I received all this valuable advice 20 years ago 🙂
LikeLike
Now you know..
LikeLike
Very amusing, and a lot of it true!
LikeLike
I agree
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing these little gems. No 3 is so true…(for me) spending more time in the shed painting than inside with the family could be either a sign of – or a treatment for – mental illness…
LikeLike
You’re welcome…
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike