Yesterday morning, Mortimer J. Finkdink III, was taking his morning stroll. He always stops in the local coffee shop, for his daily cup. He always gets a large, as he likes to last throughout his walk. After he left the shop, he ambled on along on one of his favorite streets. A few minutes later, a woman who has never seen before stopped him. He always liked saying hello to all the people he ran across, but was perplexed seeing this well endowed woman.
The following conversation ensued, and what happened shortly there after.
She: Hello.
He: Hello.
She: My name is Barbara ‘Boom Boom’ Sashay.
He: Nice to meet you, Barbara.
He: I’m Mortimer J. Finkdink III
She: I’m new in town.
He: I see.
She: Can I ask you a question?
He: Sure.
She: Before I ask, I must tell you, I have 44DDDs.
He: Okay.
She: So, would you like to see them?
He: Where?
She: Right here.
He: On the sidewalk in public?
She: Yes.
He: You could get arrested for doing that.
She: So. Don’t you like big knockers?
He: Well, in a flustered, stammering way, ah yes I do, maam.
She: What’s the problem then?
He: This is not New York City, where it is legal for women to go bare chested.
She: Pretend we’re in New York.
He: Well, its not.
Then he had an itch on his shin, that he bent down to scratch, and all of a sudden, she lifts her shirt up, and swings her knockers, and caught him the side of the head, the nearly full cup of coffee, goes flying out of his hand. It landed on the windshield of a passing car, which scared the shit out of the driver, and proceeded to slam into the car in front of his, and then got rear ended.
After all was send and done, Barbara ‘Boom Boom’ Sashay, said, “If you only took me up on my offer to view my beauties, this would never had happened.
Eventually, Barbara ‘Boom Boom’ Sashay, got arrested, for being a public nuisance, and got to spend 10 days in the local hoosegow.
As for Mortimer J. Finkdink III, he never saw this coming.
———-
Thought I’d give it a try at writing a short, humorous story. Fiction of course.
A Pondering Mind 
19 responses to “He Didn’t See This Coming”
Oh, Don! This is really good!! I LIKE IT!! No, make LOVE IT! (((HUGS))) Amy
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Thank you, Amy! I’m glad you loved it… (((HUGS)))
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I DID!!! Good night, my friend. Long day for me, and another one tomorrow. I am calling it a day. Sweet dreams. xx ….
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I didn’t see that coming either. Thanks for the chuckle.
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You’re welcome…
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Something to ponder about ,,what else could happen to him the next time he is on his way for a cup of coffee?Great post.Jalal
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I’m thinking of doing another story concerning him…
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Haha, you mean ‘He did not see THEM coming.’ poor fellow. Does this happen in New York frequently?
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Women can go topless in New York City. The story is about it having somewhere else. It would be nice if it happened to me…lol
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Didn’t see this coming…either! Good job. Write limericks?
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Thank you for your comment…
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🙂
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Your fiction is my reality! lol, maybe not breast in the face, but pretty dang close. And no, I’m not on the Barbra end, but I sure get asked to be. I will be soon installing a bear trap under my bedroom window.
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I would love to see what you would do, other than the boobs to the face…
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haha! I am rarely the perpetrator of such things! let me give you a short list, recently Ive had a wedding proposal for a green card, threatened to shoot a stalker who thinks he is going to get a good response by banging on my window at 3am, been asked to take my clothes off because they wanted to see something other than their fat homely wife. lol, and thats just been the last 6 months!!!
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You surely live an exciting life..
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It could, at times, be less!
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Very funny, love it!
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Thank you, and I’m glad you loved it…
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