Jim is having a wonderful conversation with the bathroom mirror.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar. Orders a gin, and tonic.
~@NeinQuarterly (Nein. Eric Jarosinski, editor), 2013 July 30th tweet
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.
Wrong-way Louie, won’t be getting to his destination, with both feet are embedded in freshly poured cement.
Wrong way Louie is known to screw up a one car funeral.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ~Steven Wright