Tag Archives: Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. ~ Steven Wright
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. ~ Steven Wright
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~ Steven Wright
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it’s going to be up all night. ~Steven Wright
Comedians Are Sociologists ~ Steven Wright
“Comedians are sociologists. We’re pointing out stuff that the general public doesn’t even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.” ~ Steven Wright
Steven Wright ~ Two Babies
Steven Wright Quote
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ~Steven Wright
Eagles
Steven Wright Quote
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, do you have any toy train schedules? -Steven Wright
Toast
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? ~Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it’s going to be up all night. -Steven Wright
Cannibals
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? -Steven Wright
Comedians Are Sociologists
AZQuotes.com
Quote By Steven Wright
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” Source: Quote By Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
I like George Carlin’s jokes. I like his humor. He’s one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things. – Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature. – Steven Wright
Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it – Steven Wright
Steven Wright
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1808
Steven Wright Humor Quote
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1813
Steven Wright Quote.
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1811
Steven Wright Quote
“Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1805
Steven Wright Quote
Brainy Quote
Steven Wright Quote
“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1816
Steven Wright Quote
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1814
Steven Wright Quote
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1815
Steven Wright Quote
“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1819
Quote By Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone. Steven Wright
Humor Quote
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1822
A Humor Quote
Humor Quote
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Steven Wright Source: Quotes Wave
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Steven Wright.
A Joke
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Steven Wright
Dictionary
Quote
I invented the cordless extension cord. Steven Wright Brainy Quote
Heat Wave
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? — Steven Wright Brainy Quote
I love to go shopping. – Steven Wright
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say ” Extra medium.” – Steven Wright
