Tag Archives: Steven Wright
Speed Of Light
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen? ~ Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. ~ Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ~Steven Wright
Eagles
Comedians Are Sociologists
AZQuotes.com
Quote By Steven Wright
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” Source: Quote By Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
I like George Carlin’s jokes. I like his humor. He’s one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things. – Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature. – Steven Wright
Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it – Steven Wright
Steven Wright
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1808
Steven Wright Humor Quote
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1813
Steven Wright Quote.
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1811
Steven Wright Quote
“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1816
Steven Wright Quote
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1814
Steven Wright Quote
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1815
Steven Wright Quote
“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.” – Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1819
Humor Quote
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” Steven Wright http://www.bquot.es/s/1822
A Humor Quote
Humor Quote
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Steven Wright Source: Quotes Wave
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Steven Wright.
A Joke
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Steven Wright
Dictionary
Quote
I invented the cordless extension cord. Steven Wright Brainy Quote
Heat Wave
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? — Steven Wright Brainy Quote
I love to go shopping. – Steven Wright
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say ” Extra medium.” – Steven Wright
A Pondering Mind 
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