Tag Archives: Steven Wright
Speed Of Light
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
~ Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. ~ Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. ~Steven Wright
Eagles
Comedians Are Sociologists
Quote By Steven Wright
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
Source: Quote By Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
I like George Carlin’s jokes. I like his humor. He’s one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Humor Quote
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote.
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?”
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quote
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
– Steven Wright
http://www.bquot.es/s/1815
Steven Wright Quote
“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
– Steven Wright
Humor Quote
A Humor Quote
Humor Quote
December 6, 1955 –
Actor, Comedian, Writer
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s
supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how
cold is it going to be?
Steven Wright
Source: Quotes Wave
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
Funny Quote
Humor Quote
For my birthday I got a humidifier and
a dehumidifier… I put them in the same
room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright.
A Joke
If you tell a joke in the forest, but
nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Dictionary
Quote
I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
Brainy Quote
Heat Wave
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
— Steven Wright
Brainy Quote
I love to go shopping. – Steven Wright
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say ” Extra medium.”
– Steven Wright
