She Forgot The Lipstick

Found in the email inbox. Don’t you just hate it?…….you get all dressed up; you’re looking hot; smokin’ hot! As you strut your stuff down the street, you can almost feel all the eyes upon you. Then, you happen to catch a quick glimpse of yourself in a mirror, and you suddenly REALIZE…you forgot the lipstick…the whole look you […]

Meaning of the Resurrection

From the email inbox: Got to love this kid…   MEANING OF THE RESURRECTION            A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.   Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of […]

Mother Nature

It seems that mother nature has a problem. The problem is, she must have a very itchy scalp. With all the dandruff falling from the sky above, it looks like she needs a good shampooing, with a good rinsing. Then a apply some conditioning, then rinse and repeat. Now, all this dandruff is landing on […]

Bad Pilots

From the email inbox: The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back […]

Mexican Pay Raise

From my email inbox:   The Mexican Maid The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.The first […]

Lawsuit

From my email inbox: A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he  lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied … “Mr. Maynard was admitted  in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his […]

Fairy Tale

From my email inbox: A MALE FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and […]

Perfect Example Of Why Men…

Perfect example of why men can’t understand women. I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls, with a significant overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them screeched, “It’s WALES, you […]