Chinua Achebe Quote

“The white man is very clever. He came quietly and peaceably with his religion. We were amused at his foolishness and allowed him to stay. Now he has won our brothers, and our clan can no longer act like one. He has put a knife on the things that held us together and we have fallen apart.”

-Chinua Achebe
Born: November 16, 1930
Nigerian poet, novelist, professor and critic

Translation

Found in the email inbox:

A Translation Of Yankee Dogs To Southern Dawgs – To all you
dog lovers out there and those who understand the difference
between Yankees and Southerners…

(Yankee) German Shepherd Dog
(Southern) Poh-leece Dawg

(Yankee) Poodle
(Southern) Circus Dawg

(Yankee) St. Bernard
(Southern) “Thank Gawd, Here Comes The Whiskey Dawg”

(Yankee) Doberman Pinscher
(Southern-2 versions) Bad Dawg, or Dobimin Pinches

(Yankee) Beagle
(Southern) Rabbit Dawg

(Yankee) Rottweiler
(Southern) Bad Dawg AND Mean As Heck Dawg. Good dawg
to gu ard the still.

(Yankee) Yellow Lab
(Southern) Ol’ Yeller Dawg

(Yankee) Black Lab
(Southern) Duck fetchin’ Dawg

(Yankee) Greyhound
(Southern) Greased Lightnin’ Dawg

(Yankee) Malinois
(Southern) Another kind of Poh-leece Dawg

 

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Books

Even as the Internet has revived hope of a universal library and Google seems to promise an answer to every query, books have remained a dark region in the universe of information. We want books to be as accessible and searchable as the Web. On the other hand, we still want them to be books.

Gary Wolf
American Journalist

Get It Right Before You Speak

When I was listening to the radio this morning, the mid-morning, early-afternoon DJ, announcer or whatever they are called, was making mention of Autumn beginning this Saturday, the 20th. Well, it does not start on that date. It is September 23, the same day as my late father’s birthday was. Then about an hour later she said the same thing again, about the date that Autumn begins.

I was tempted to take a wake over to the radio station, which is just around the corner from where I live, and tell her or someone to tell when the correct date is. I mean, is it too much to take a look at the calendar to see what day the new season begins.

Its just one of those things in life that bugs the shit out of me.

A Pondering Mind 9/15/2014

Meaning of the Resurrection

From the email inbox:

Got to love this kid…

  MEANING OF THE RESURRECTION
           A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.  
Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.
         Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand……..ATT0000111
The pastor called on him and the little boy said,   “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”  
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

We

We eat
We cook
We drink
We sleep
We talk
We walk
We read
We go to school
We study
We work
We play
We travel
We write
We type
We draw
We watch TV
We go to movies
We drive
We fly
We ride
We discuss
We argue
We laugh
We smile
We cry

All the things we do or, for some people some of them.
We’re all human, and since we’re on this planet for a very short time, we should enjoy everything we do.
It’s what makes life on Earth interesting.

A Pondering Mind 2014

In The Old Days

From my email inbox:

Whether these are true or not, it does make for good read, and a snicker or two.

In The Old Days

The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the

younger generation how much harder they had it “in the old days.”  Winners,

runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot.

In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff.  No, it was

45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so

to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters,

which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our

skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player

arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because

those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in

those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn’t have rocks.  We had to go down to the creek and wash our

clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants.  Every day we ate lots

of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.

In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators.  We had to do addition on our

fingers.  To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying ‘Doors

closing.’  We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out,

it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody

stump at the end.  But the base fare was only a dollar.

In my day, we didn’t have water.  We had to smash together our own hydrogen

and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them.  In my day, the sun revolved

around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 80

year-old guys.  It was a bunch of gray- haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.

Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity.  We had to watch television

by candlelight.