Tag Archives: Funny

The Italian Lover

From the email inbox: ********************* The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido, was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired toContinue reading “The Italian Lover”

Random Thoughts On Aging

Found in the email. ·      Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! ·      Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.  We haven’t met yet! ·      The day the world runs out of wine & beer is just tooContinue reading “Random Thoughts On Aging”

Here is, Old Age at its Best

Here is, old age at its best.     Larry and Bob, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Larry didn’t show up. Bob didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after LarryContinue reading “Here is, Old Age at its Best”

Just A Typical Guy

A husband went to police station to report his missing wife: Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home. Sergeant : What is her height ? Husband : Oh, 5 something . . . Sergeant : Build? Husband : Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant : Color of eyes?Continue reading “Just A Typical Guy”

Senior Trying to Set a Password

From the email archive: Senior trying to set a password .  WINDOWS :  Please enter your new password: USER :  “cabbage” WINDOWS :  Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER:   “boiled cabbage”  WINDOWS :  Sorry, the password must  contain 1 numerical character. USER:   “1 boiled cabbage” WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot  have blank spaces. USER :  “50bloodyboiledcabbages” WINDOWS :  Sorry,Continue reading “Senior Trying to Set a Password”

She Forgot The Lipstick

Found in the email inbox. Don’t you just hate it?…….you get all dressed up; you’re looking hot; smokin’ hot! As you strut your stuff down the street, you can almost feel all the eyes upon you. Then, you happen to catch a quick glimpse of yourself in a mirror, and you suddenly REALIZE…you forgot the lipstick…the whole look youContinue reading “She Forgot The Lipstick”

Okay

Okay, so I’m outside getting some air. It is late, like 11:55 night late. A neighbor of comes out, and says, “Nice Night.” Me: “Yes it is, and a delightful one.” He: “Nice and warm.” Me: “Yup.” He: “The moon looks nice too.” Me: “In all its glory.” He: When he decided to go backContinue reading “Okay”

New Best Seller: How To Understand Women

Note: When I took a break from blogging, the very next day, I came down with a nasty head cold. And it happened on the first day of spring. So my thinking is still bit foggy. With that said, here is a bit of humor from the email inbox. Thought you should know that theContinue reading “New Best Seller: How To Understand Women”

Meaning of the Resurrection

From the email inbox: Got to love this kid…   MEANING OF THE RESURRECTION            A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.   Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front ofContinue reading “Meaning of the Resurrection”

Bad Pilots

From the email inbox: The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans backContinue reading “Bad Pilots”

Senior Moments

I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today.   One of the questions was:   “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?”   “F*ckin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. ———————————- Above from the email inbox                    Continue reading “Senior Moments”

Cell Phone Etiquette

From the email inbox: After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”. “Yes,Continue reading “Cell Phone Etiquette”

Mexican Pay Raise

From my email inbox:   The Mexican Maid The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.The firstContinue reading “Mexican Pay Raise”