Children

The founding fathers in their wisdom decided that children were an unnatural strain on parents. So they provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can’t take you and industry can’t take you.

– John Updike

Here is, Old Age at its Best

Here is, old age at its best.

 Old Age

 

Larry and Bob, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Larry didn’t show up. Bob didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Larry hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Bob really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bob didn’t know where Larry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Bob figured he had seen the last of Larry, but one day, Bob approached the park and — lo and behold — there sat Larry! Bob was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Larry, what in the world happened to you?

Larry replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail!’ cried Bob. What in the world for?’

‘Well,’ Larry said, ‘you know Jane, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Bob, ‘I remember her. What about her?

‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded ‘guilty’.

‘The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury’.

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