Funny
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Mexican Pay Raise
From my email inbox: The Mexican Maid The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.The first Continue reading
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Where the hell ….
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Cooking
Another ‘toon from an email friend… Continue reading
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Dogs
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. — Rita Rudner Continue reading
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New Neighbor
This is my new neighbor… She’s single… She lives right across the road. I can see her place from my deck. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door. I rushed to open it; she Continue reading
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The Naked Cowboy
From my email inbox: A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks ‘Why in the Continue reading
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Lawsuit
From my email inbox: A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied … “Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his Continue reading
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Viagra Distribution Center
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Fairy Tale
From my email inbox: A MALE FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and Continue reading
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Mistakes
We made too many wrong mistakes. — Yogi Berra Continue reading
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American Dream
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. — George Carlin Continue reading
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Hello From An Old Man
Did you ever wonder why it is so hard for older men to find a job and get hired??? Job interview: Human Resources Manager: “What is your greatest weakness?” Old man: “Honesty.” Human Resources Manager: “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.” Old Man: “I don’t really give a shit what you think.” Continue reading
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The Polish Divorce
From my email inbox: THE POLISH DIVORCE A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that Continue reading
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A good marriage …
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. — Michel de Montaigne Continue reading
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I can’t believe …
I can’t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest. — Steven Pearl Continue reading
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The Railing
Charlie, who is a grown man, likes to slide down on the circular railing, which is long and steep. He always likes to slide down it, side saddle. This time, Charlie was wearing silk pajamas, and this in turn would turn out to be a big mistake. It was time for him to go down Continue reading
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A bit of humor…
A bit of humor from my email inbox: Football and the Blonde Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best — because it makes football make sense! A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he Continue reading
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Bladder
I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. – Stephen Fry Continue reading
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I consider that a man’s brain… – Arthur Conan Doyle
I consider a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. – Arthur Conan Doyle Continue reading
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Yogi Berra, Some of his famous sayings and quotes
Whether your a baseball fan or not, and if you don’t know who Yogi Berra is, he played his entire career a catcher for the New York Yankees, plus later on down the road, managed the NY Mets. His quotes, sayings, adages are truly funny and some can be head scratching. Enjoy. Yogi Berra Lawrence Continue reading
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Forgot My Glasses
FORGOT MY GLASSES Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time. Talking about my “doing something useful” seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was “only thinking of me” and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did Continue reading
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Dear Dr. Phil
Dear Dr. Phil, When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime � fishing. I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking Continue reading
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A doctor on his morning walk…
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above:, She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?” “I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to Continue reading
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With Age Comes Wisdom
Four guys were all at a deer camp. They had two cabins, two men per cabin. After the first night, no one wanted to room with Bob because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The Continue reading
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Senior Moment
I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today. One of the questions was: “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “F*ckin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. Continue reading
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My Story – 49 Words of Humor
High reeders, i DiscoveRed this fantastik thing called spel chek. As i tipe; It correcs the misspelld wurd and oughto correks it. It truelee amasez me wat this spelt checcer dos. I reccamand every1 tooo yuse it. yoUll will bee happee as jak frost on a rottid punkim. tRusT mee. Continue reading
A Pondering Mind 
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