Humor
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Growing Older
I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did for me – then my forwarding it will be worth the effort. Walk with me by the water – worth the read… Shit… I forgot the words. —————————————————————- The above was found in the email inbox. Continue reading
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Found It
Another from the email inbox. Somehow, you just always knew it was there somewhere. Continue reading
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She Forgot The Lipstick
Found in the email inbox. Don’t you just hate it?…….you get all dressed up; you’re looking hot; smokin’ hot! As you strut your stuff down the street, you can almost feel all the eyes upon you. Then, you happen to catch a quick glimpse of yourself in a mirror, and you suddenly REALIZE…you forgot the lipstick…the whole look you Continue reading
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Burnt Toast
Burn your toast, anyone? You do have options. Eat it. Toss it in the trash. Scrape it, then eat it. Give it to the birds. Or save it, and use it in place of sandpaper, or an emergency coaster for the coffee and/or end table. aponderingmind.org Continue reading
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Over 40
From the email inbox: Continue reading
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Okay
Okay, so I’m outside getting some air. It is late, like 11:55 night late. A neighbor of comes out, and says, “Nice Night.” Me: “Yes it is, and a delightful one.” He: “Nice and warm.” Me: “Yup.” He: “The moon looks nice too.” Me: “In all its glory.” He: When he decided to go back Continue reading
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A Thought From Aunty Acid
From the email inbox: Continue reading
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Uncle Seamus
From the email inbox: Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. They had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and a while before he passed away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea. Of course he did pass away and the boys remembered to Continue reading
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New Best Seller: How To Understand Women
Note: When I took a break from blogging, the very next day, I came down with a nasty head cold. And it happened on the first day of spring. So my thinking is still bit foggy. With that said, here is a bit of humor from the email inbox. Thought you should know that the Continue reading
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Meaning of the Resurrection
From the email inbox: Got to love this kid… MEANING OF THE RESURRECTION A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of Continue reading
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New iPad
A Daughter is visiting her Father. She asks: “Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new I-Pad we gave you for your birthday?” He says “Good”. This is in German but no subtitles needed: Just click on the link below http://www.snotr.com/video/8965/ Continue reading
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Mother Nature
It seems that mother nature has a problem. The problem is, she must have a very itchy scalp. With all the dandruff falling from the sky above, it looks like she needs a good shampooing, with a good rinsing. Then a apply some conditioning, then rinse and repeat. Now, all this dandruff is landing on Continue reading
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Sidewalk Ad Sign
From the email in box: Continue reading
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Heat Wave
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? — Steven Wright Brainy Quote Continue reading
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Remodeled Bathroom
Our bathroom has been remodeled, and quite frankly, it is quaint. Photographer unknown Continue reading
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Bad Pilots
From the email inbox: The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back Continue reading
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Paradise
From the email inbox: When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all Continue reading
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New Showerhead
Needed a new showerhead, so this is what the maintenance man installed. It works like a charm. Continue reading
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My First Condom
From the email inbox: My First Condom. I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen’s pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in Continue reading
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104 Years Old
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked… She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’ —– From the email inbox Continue reading
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Windows
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.” Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.” Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.” ——— From the email inbox. Continue reading
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Senior Moments
I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today. One of the questions was: “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “F*ckin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. ———————————- Above from the email inbox Continue reading
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Cell Phone Etiquette
From the email inbox: After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”. “Yes, Continue reading
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Mexican Pay Raise
From my email inbox: The Mexican Maid The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.The first Continue reading
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Where the hell ….
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Cooking
Another ‘toon from an email friend… Continue reading
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New Neighbor
This is my new neighbor… She’s single… She lives right across the road. I can see her place from my deck. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door. I rushed to open it; she Continue reading
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The Naked Cowboy
From my email inbox: A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks ‘Why in the Continue reading
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Door Mat
Want be left alone? A door mat like the one below should do the trick. Continue reading
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Lawsuit
From my email inbox: A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied … “Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his Continue reading
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Viagra Distribution Center
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Fairy Tale
From my email inbox: A MALE FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and Continue reading
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Guess who kept everybody ……
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Hot Air Balloon
From my email inbox: So you think you’re having a bad day… then you step outside of your house… and look up into the beautiful blue sky… …and see this!!!!! All of a sudden, that smile comes back to your face and you say to yourself ”Now that’s a big ass balloon!!!” …and things don’t seem Continue reading
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Hello From An Old Man
Did you ever wonder why it is so hard for older men to find a job and get hired??? Job interview: Human Resources Manager: “What is your greatest weakness?” Old man: “Honesty.” Human Resources Manager: “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.” Old Man: “I don’t really give a shit what you think.” Continue reading
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Recommended by Margie: Exercise Block
We invite you to join with us in this reasonable exercise program. We plan to double this rigorous regimen next week. Your kind of exercise? Continue reading
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The Polish Divorce
From my email inbox: THE POLISH DIVORCE A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that Continue reading
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The Railing
Charlie, who is a grown man, likes to slide down on the circular railing, which is long and steep. He always likes to slide down it, side saddle. This time, Charlie was wearing silk pajamas, and this in turn would turn out to be a big mistake. It was time for him to go down Continue reading
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A bit of humor…
A bit of humor from my email inbox: Football and the Blonde Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best — because it makes football make sense! A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he Continue reading
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May the fleas of a thousand Camels…
Another one from my email inbox: Continue reading
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Secrets To A Long Happy Marriage
From my email inbox: Continue reading
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Paramour
From my email inbox: After a Southern man moved from Atlanta to a New Jersey suburb, a fellow passenger on a train asked how he liked it in the country. “It was difficult at first,” the man replied, “but it’s a lot better since I got myself a paramour.” The passenger was astonished. “A paramour?” Continue reading
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Redneck Mouse Trap
From my email inbox: This is the best mousetrap I have ever used, 5 gal bucket with a gal of RV antifreeze dumped in the bottom, plastic bottle with a coat hanger thru it and some peanut butter on the middle of the bottle. Lean a board up against the side and it works all Continue reading
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Ah, Sweet Love
From my email inbox: Ah, sweet love!!!! A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted: If Continue reading
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Forgot My Glasses
FORGOT MY GLASSES Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time. Talking about my “doing something useful” seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was “only thinking of me” and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did Continue reading
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Dear Dr. Phil
Dear Dr. Phil, When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime � fishing. I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking Continue reading
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A doctor on his morning walk…
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above:, She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?” “I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to Continue reading
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With Age Comes Wisdom
Four guys were all at a deer camp. They had two cabins, two men per cabin. After the first night, no one wanted to room with Bob because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The Continue reading
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Senior Moment
I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today. One of the questions was: “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “F*ckin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. Continue reading
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Do You Drink?
Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. Lady: How much a day? Man: Three 6 packs. Lady: How much per 6 pack? Man: About $10.00. Lady: And how long have you been drinking? Man: 15 years. Lady: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month Continue reading
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My Story – 49 Words of Humor
High reeders, i DiscoveRed this fantastik thing called spel chek. As i tipe; It correcs the misspelld wurd and oughto correks it. It truelee amasez me wat this spelt checcer dos. I reccamand every1 tooo yuse it. yoUll will bee happee as jak frost on a rottid punkim. tRusT mee. Continue reading
A Pondering Mind 
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