Month: February 2014

Downsizing

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

For the past couple of weeks, I have been downsizing my blog. Getting rid of old stuff, that has just been sitting there for the past two years or more. I am still in the process of cleaning it up, and it does take some time. It’s like cleaning out the closet, the attic and or basement. Hard to decide what to keep, and what to throw out with the bath water. Anyways, I’m in no rush to get it done, so in the mean time, I will be popping in to see what people have posted.

A Pondering Mind

Literature

~ A Pondering Mind

The many great gardens of the world, of literature and poetry,
of painting and music, of religion and architecture, all make the
point as clear as possible: The soul cannot thrive in the
absence of a garden. If you don’t want paradise, you are not
human; and if you are not human, you don’t have a soul.

— Thomas Moore

Tire Track

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

While I was standing outside, during the middle of the afternoon, I took my phone out and was going to a photo of the snow covering the yews. When I looked to see how that pic came out, I saw this photo of the tire track and the curb to the left of it. The photo was taken by accident, so decided to post it.

Tire Track

Mother Nature

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 2 Comments

It seems that mother nature has a problem.
The problem is, she must have a very itchy scalp.
With all the dandruff falling from the sky above,
it looks like she needs a good shampooing, with
a good rinsing.
Then a apply some conditioning, then rinse
and repeat.
Now, all this dandruff is landing on planet
earth, and are the ones who have to deal with it.

When the weather warms up, then a real good
rinsing will commence, and then it will wash away
all the built up dandruff, that she wanted to
share with us.

— A Pondering Mind

Will Rogers

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

From the email inbox:

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known.

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

Will

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 1 Comment

We rely upon the poets, the philosophers, and the playwrights
to articulate what most of us can only feel, in joy and sorrow.
They illuminate the thoughts for which we only grope; they
give us the strength and balm we cannot find in ourselves.
Whenever I feel my courage wavering I rush to them. They will
give me the wisdom of acceptance, the will and resilience to
push on.

— Helen Hayes

Wisdom Quotes

Bad Pilots

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 3 Comments

From the email inbox:

The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish
captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.

It’s the first time they’ve flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
‘I don’t like Chinese..’

‘No rike Chinese?’ asks the co-pilot, ‘why not?’

‘You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that’s why!’

‘No, no’, the co-pilot protests, ‘Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.’

‘Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese….doesn’t matter, you’re all alike!’

There’s a few minutes of silence.
‘I no rike Jews!’ the co-pilot suddenly announces.

‘Oh yeah, why not?’ asks the captain.

‘Jews sink Titanic!’ says the co-pilot.

‘What? You’re insane! Jews didn’t sink the Titanic!’ exclaims the captain,
‘It was an iceberg!’

Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah…all the same….

Observation

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 3 Comments

The Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti once remarked that
observing without evaluating is the highest form of human
intelligence. When I first read this statement, the thought,
‘What nonsense!’ shot through my mind before I realized that
I had just made an evaluation.

— Marshall Rosenberg

Mind

~ A Pondering Mind

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn
for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate
the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

— Buddha

Paradise

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 6 Comments

From the email inbox:

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.
I want all the women to report to St.Peter.” Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long,and in the line of men
who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said to the long line, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household!
You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.”

God turned to the one man, “How did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
The man replied, “My wife told me to stand here.”

My First Condom

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 5 Comments

From the email inbox:

         My First Condom.
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen’s pharmacy. In those days it took a lot   of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of  item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew what they were for.
She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could  see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, ‘No, not really.’
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.
I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it  were empty. It was. ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked. I said, ‘sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
Then she beat the shit out of me….

Snow

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 10 Comments

Its been snowing here for the good part of the morning, and you can see the building’s maintenance man, snow blowing the sidewalk. He will be at this throughout the day, as the storm will not be over till sometime later this afternoon.

Snow storm, February 5, 2014
Snow storm, February 5, 2014

Windows

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 2 Comments

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
“Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Husband texts back:
“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
“Computer really screwed up now.”
———
From the email inbox.

Senior Moments

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

image00100

I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today.

 

One of the questions was:

 

“In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?”

 

“F*ckin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer.
———————————-
Above from the email inbox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cell Phone Etiquette

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

From the email inbox:

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled
out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
“Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”.
“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.
“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.
“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.
“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,
“Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer

Beliefs

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 2 Comments

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without
examination, from authorities who have not themselves
examined the questions at issue but have taken them at
second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions
about them were not worth a brass farthing.

— Mark Twain

Equality

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 4 Comments

Is there equality before the law? At every stage of the judicial
process–facing the policeman, appearing in court, being freed
on bond, being sentenced by the judge–the poor person is
treated worse than the rich, the black treated worse than the
white, the politically or personally odd character is treated
worse than the orthodox.

— Howard Zinn

Wisdom Quotes

Oh well

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 11 Comments

Since this is Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, crawled back to his place. This means six more weeks of winter.

According to the calendar, there is six more weeks to go of the winter season, and then spring takes over. So what’s the big deal?

Oh well.

A Pondering Mind 2014

We

~ A Pondering Mind ~ 6 Comments

We eat
We cook
We drink
We sleep
We talk
We walk
We read
We go to school
We study
We work
We play
We travel
We write
We type
We draw
We watch TV
We go to movies
We drive
We fly
We ride
We discuss
We argue
We laugh
We smile
We cry

All the things we do or, for some people some of them.
We’re all human, and since we’re on this planet for a very short time, we should enjoy everything we do.
It’s what makes life on Earth interesting.

A Pondering Mind 2014